25 November 2008

A Bond Bombshell

And not the good kind, either. Last week I went to see the opening of the newest Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace." What a disappointment, let me tell you. While I do like Daniel Craig as Bond, this movie was nothing like the Bond of old - a singular bad guy working for "the other side" whether that be Commies, terrorists, or mad scientists hell bent on world domination. Instead, Bond was just another guy with a gun, pissed off because of Vesper's death and betrayal, who decides to go on a killing rampage. The plot of the movie involves something about the lead Bond girl's (Olga Kurylenko as Camille) desire for her own brand of revenge and the plot to take over a country's water supply in the middle of the desert. Thus, obviously giving tons of money and power to the South American thugs who will sell Aquafina at ridiculously obscene prices to the starving (and dehydrated) Bolivian natives. Along the way, a new criminal terrorist organization is introduced, Quantum, whose sole purpose is to meet at the opera in plain sight and communicate through throat microphones. Not really, but that's what you get from the film. I guess they're the H2O-deprived masterminds who thought up the take-all-the-water plot, but it's not really completely clear. I don't think I even heard the line "The name is Bond. James Bond." anywhere in the entire movie. Recap: No plot. No desirable Bond women. No "bad guy." Bond's character is monodimensional and dull. No memorable chase scenes, explosions, or special effects to speak of. I give it a major thumbs down, and I would not recommend it to my friends unless it happens to be on Spike TV sometime in the future and you've got 2 hours to kill. Hopefully the next Bond will bring the character back to the martini-drinking, shaken-not-stirred, tuxedo-wearing, Goldfinger-thrashing badass we all love!

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